Dear Chellie,

I viewed your pet loss sympathy gifts on your website and I’m still not sure if I should send one.  I board my horse at a barn where others also board horses.  One of the horses recently received an injury and passed.  The horse belonged to a woman and her daughter who I only know from our time together at the barn.  I feel terrible for their loss, I know they loved their horse, but I don’t know them very well.  Is it appropriate for me to send a sympathy gift to them at their home in this situation?

Thank you for your guidance,

Marjorie



Dear Marjorie,

Thank you for your letter.  Yes, I do think it is appropriate for you to send a gift in this situation.  A sympathy gift delivers the message you care and you are acknowledging the depth of the feelings associated with the loss.  From your letter I believe you observed the bond this woman and her daughter had with their horse and because of those observations  you are touched by their loss.  The bonding relationship you have with your own horse helps you empathize with the feelings they are experiencing.  I’m sure they would be appreciative of a sympathy gift honoring their special relationship and their grief.  Animal lovers often don’t receive the support they need following the death of a special animal companion.  As animal lovers we form relationships with our pets and when an animal companion dies we truly grieve the loss.  Any support we can give to someone who is grieving helps make the journey a little easier.  Your acknowledgement of the grieving process in this situation is a gift to this mother and her daughter.  I’m sure it will be well received and truly appreciated.  If  I can be of further assistance please email me. Thank you for your support of those who grieve.

Best Wishes,

Chellie

Dear Chellie,

My husband's Uncle has cancer, which has spread throughout his body and now is receiving Hospice care at home.  I would like to do something, like sending flowers, so he knows we are thinking about him and to help brighten his day.  What would be the appropriate message to send with them?  "Get well soon" does not seem to be right since he probably will not be recovering from his illness.  What would you recommend?

Thanks for your help.

Mary



Dear Mary,

Thanks for your letter.  I'm sorry to hear that your family member has cancer and is dying.  This will be an intense and sad time for your family.  I agree with you that "Get Well"  just is not appropriate in this situation.  I believe that sentiments such as:

• We are thinking of you
• You are in our thoughts
• You are in our thoughts and prayers

Are all appropriate for this type of situation.  If you want to send a "thinking of you" card which further expresses your thoughts you might include something like this "we were thinking of you the other day and "Jim" started telling the story about when the two of you went fishing in Alaska.  That is a special memory for Jim the two of you shared.  We are thinking of you often and hope you are surrounded by love and comfort."  Just a suggestion for a way you might convey your thoughts of this Uncle and to let him know that he holds a special memory in your lives.

My thoughts are with you and your family as you support each other.

Sincerely,

Chellie